Kekecewaan memang sangat menyakitkan...

Yesterday was the most frustrated day of my life.
It was my first handling a trip to Kg. Sg. Bumbun Pulau Carey.
I had a high expectation that everything is going to be well according to plan.
But, it all became thrash. We did not get the mask we want.
We did not get to learn the Mahmeri dance. What I can say is that it was a 'bullshit' trip.
Im also frustrated because my club mate did not received what they should gotten which is a well-deserved entertainment.
I feel so frustrated that I would runaway from them forever.
It is so frustrating. Why is this happening.
The event leaves a bad impression of me to them.
I'm such bad event manager..
I could died because of this...

something to cherish about....

i am part of them......i like the design, seriously...LOVE IT!!

I know where I am going....

I know where I am going. Is that true? I have made a big decision to continue my study in Degree in TeSL, UiTM. Do you think it is that big? For me, yes it is. This is a 'once a life time' decision which will lead me to my destiny. TESL is my calling. I am determine to do it and I am going for it. But, why UiTM? People has been calling UiTM with lots of unacceptable names. Some people just condemn the institution and think that it is just where the Malays having fun. I don't care about what they say about UiTM. Because I know the real Uitm. The one year I had during my foundation in UiTM was my best year ever. I owe so much to my lecturers, UiTM staffs and buddies who have helped me along those hard and rocky path.

U guys know what??.... I am going to finish my studies here. I don't care what would PEOPLE say..



ENCIK ABU BAKAR from LINTON COLLEGE!! You have no right to condemn my ideal place of higher institution! You even called our previous prime minister wrongly when you referred to him as Badawi. Have u no idea that Badawi is his father?? Please lah encik. I know u were just doing ur job as a promoter BUT u have no right of provoking other people and condemn other institution. What?? Studying in the oversea is better?? Ouh, PLease....U narrow-minded Encik Abu Bakar.. Malaysia has the same level education as any other developed countries. Don't u ever try to condemn on Malaysian Education to other countries. If our level of education is that bad, where do all our ministers come from?? Still, they are the product of Malaysia itself.
When u talk about those 'trash' about our local education, have u ever thought about ur own self? Aren't u ur self a Malaysian? Or are u NOT???

ENCIK ABU BAKAR..I have a reminder for: Watch out for ur own words. Be careful or else it will get back to u!!!!!



The first reason I was interested in TESL is the fact that it trains me to sosialise with people. I want to do something for my comunity. I want to help them. This is the only way I can help them. I don't have money to buy them food and stuff. I don't have what it takes to become politicion in order to fight for their right. The only thing that I can offer them is "EDUCATION". To be precise English. I am not doing TESL just for myself but for my parents, Allah and people. Hopefully, my good intention will be blessed by Allah. I need strength to face all these.



I used to be unsure when people ask me about becoming an English teacher.
But now...What can I say. Yes, I am going to become an English teacher..BRING IT ON! Yeahhh!....



:D......

Thomas and Uber....cup of tea....

YOu guys know, what cup are these? These are the very 'chased after' CUPs in the world. THOMAS is for the men while UBER is for the women..:))


Last night, the Malaysian player lost to the Japanese. A 3-2 lost. It is quite a disappointment to the nation and many people show their unsatisfaction through facebook and other stuff. I watched the game but I was only focused on 'Hafiz Hashim vs Sato' s game. I am very curious about Hafiz. He was the 2003 All-England Champion but he seemed to be a bit fragile with his performance. I believe many Malaysians are being curious about him. He is one of the most successful malay badminton players besides the Sidek's brothers. After the 2003 All-England, he seemed to be drowning.



Hafiz Hashim. the 2003 All-England Open Champion.
Somehow, as a Malaysian and a badminton fan, I have faith in him. He is just a normal human being like each and one of us. The different is, he carries the burden of our nation to the world stage. Why not we let him stand back on his feet and prove to us that he has what it takes to be a champion. If only he can read my blog right now. I just want him to know that we Malaysian just want him to enjoy the game and do the best he can to grab that Thomas cup of tea for Malaysia just like how he did for the 2003 All-England Open .We all know that it is stressful but with our support, HE CAN DO IT!!. Go Hafiz!! We have your back...:)





Now, we have Datuk Lee Chong Wei. He is a great example of a very resilient person. He is the backbone of our team. He is very high-spirited and he is willing to do anything for the nation. what i was touched was the fact that he speaks our national language whenever he is interviewed by any reporter. He is the true model of 1 Malaysia!! Thank u Chong Wei..(p/s: if only he read this..Im watching him playing against Peter Gade..)...:))






At last, the legendary Sidek Brothers.. ( they are some kind of the Warner Brothers huh in the sports arena..). I remember of reading their comics since I was 5. The age where I started to read very well. Actually, I learn to read through their comcs... Oupps..the lightning.....


to be continued...........:)

today....after yesterday..

Yes, the result was out and I got the interview. It was hard for me to press the 'enter' key after typing my IC number. Only Allah Knows how relieved I am. It has been a nightmare for me after the catastrophe which had befallen me earlier. Who would not break down when their hopes and dreams are shattered just like that. I have been through it. So, I know how my some of my friends feel when they din get the interview. I feel like breaking down like them too but, there is no use. Enough of disappointment. I need a drive to reach for my dreams. I have been disappointed for lots of time and I am going to make sure that this time, I will not be disappointed anymore. Eventhough, i can't guarantee that, I will fight for myself.




This is KOcaeli, Turkiye. This place keeps one of my happiest memories in life. I wish to come back here someday with a more established self. I want to meet my foster family and cherish our moments like how we used to do it last time.

I miss true nature........

A Journey to the East. March, 17th, 2010

Dancing has been my passion since a long time ago.
I tried to stop after SPM but it seemed to be coming back to me.
I'm unsure whether it came to me or the other way around.
Half part of me is naturally dedicated to it while another half is for 'TESL'.
It is like living in 2 different and distinct world.
Somehow, they both are connected to each other.

UITM Shah Alam..Is it time to say Goodbye??

I remembered the first time I got here.
I brought all my dreams and hopes with full spirit.
I was a fresh school-graduate and I barely knew where I was standing at that moment.
But, now, when I am about to leave UiTM, I am very sure where I am standing and where I am heading to.
I can see a bright future here and I don't want to make waste of it.

PRISMA SENI..where my heart seems to be..

Yes, it was difficult at first to blend in with the team in terms of style and communication. It is a learning process.
But, the patience, persistent and determination I offered seem to be fruitful.
I'm now feeling very sad to leave the team.
They are my family and close ones.
The bonding became stronger in every practices, shows and competitions.
When I got to know all these people of different walks of life, I began to care for them.
I've learned a lot from each an everyone of them.
I learned about life.
Dancing is the ticket for me to know more people and grab more experience in life.
I believe that this is the strongest reason why I continue to be in 'that' world.


My Journey in Prisma SENI... It was such a long, bumpy and uneven roads for me...

1. My first competition with the team..FESTIVAL TARI MAKUM 2009


Rampaian Asli and Zapin(Best Asli Group)




This is U-gi. Also danced during the festari makum 2009.
We got third place and 3 other awards.


2. FESTKUM 2009...the peak of all my difficulties..


Here, I met new friends from PESKA...They are as great friends as PRISMA..
It's just that we are separated by distance..

I believe that's all for today.. I think i'd have to pay more than RM10 for being more than 2hours in the cc...hehe.. However, I promise to share more pictures and experiences along my journey here as a TESLian, a dancer and my simple self in UiTM Shah Alam some other time..(a place filled with my bitter and sweet times)......taaaa..:)

TUesday, March 16, 2010

I slept at Kak Teh's house in Section 7 last night. Situated at the 'Comercial Centre'. We had an opening show at Taylor's College today for the Master Presentation occasion. It was an eye-opener to me while I was there. It was a different sight to see not many Malays around the Taylor's compound. I like the sight behind the lecture hall where it makes us feel as if we are standing at the sea-shore. Such a convenient place to study. The students whom I refer to all students of taylor's seem to be high-profile and very stylish in their own way. they seem to be focus in their study. That's a thing to remember about them.......

The 2C's Masterpiece..

This is a very crazy masterpiece and each and every one of us contributes to it(except the absentees of course)..

You really need to read it.It may sound stupid but it is funny..(seriously)..

There was a young ignorant yet selfish _______ by the name of Sudin. sudin is a man hybrid of shellfish and squid, squidfish. Everyday he will go to the toilet to shave his tentacles. But, they keep growing more at evry shave. However, he never gives up to shave it because his hobby is shaving. One day, he google in the internet to search for new techniques of shaving. Suddenly, he shouts!"Hi, my name is Anas. Im always hungry."=D. and hi. I am Mimie and I want to help you with your tentacles problem :). Then, Hajar decided to marry Anas and Ijah said I hate myself. After years of being together(Anas and Hajar), hajar couldn't stand on Anas's tentacles. S, she left and Anas married Ijah. After Hajar left, Anas couldn't accept the absence of Hajar because he loves her as much as he loves shaving his tentacles. So, Ijah slapped Anas on the face because she didn't want to be apart from his tentacles(what da..)..Ijah loves Anas's tentacles and love to watch him while shaving. Ijah and the smartly shaved Anas sit confusely at Mr.Yudi who is teaching about 'phrases and clauses'. But, hey,hey! Where the 'hell' is Sudin? Suddenly, anas transformed into Sudin and he looked like Davy jones the squid in Pirates of the Carribean 2.MuAHAHAHHAHAHAa!! At the same time, spongebob came and said "hi, Anadin! I have something for you! Guess what???! A TENTACLE'S REMOVER! WOOT!WOOT!". Finally, Anadin lived happily forever after.....The End.

Well, do you guys think that this 'masterpiece' makes sense. maybe yes, maybe no. Somehow, it made me laugh and it made my day too. 2C class is indeed a crazy class but we have lots of talents and creative people too.
However, there is still need to control these creativitiness to a certain level. Why? because overly creative is not a good thing too, you know. this is based on my experience. What about you...:D

Learning is never easy for me..: Why me??!!

Learning is never easy for me..: Why me??!!

Why me??!!

Everything has to be me! I have lots of disatisfaction in this second sem.
I feel that everything and everyone is being hypocrite. The terms of 'sincerity', 'honesty' and 'earnesty' do not exist at all. It seems to me that everybody is trying to look for shortcuts in everything they do! Im pissed off!! Totally pissed off!

Now, I'd just be as rndom as I can. Not to pin-point on anyone.
What is a teacher/'lecturer's job?
They are here to:-

• to teach
• to correct the student's mistakes
• to give guidance for the students
• to give marks to student fair and square
• to make the students understand to the fullest of a topic
• to develop interest in the student to study
• to guide the student to work efficiently under pressure.

These are the basic things of being a teacher/lecturer.However, some people are just not fit to hold one of these 'holy' job. If the teacher himself is wrong and wouldn't even accept his mistake and correct it. Instead, teach the wrong things to students, what will happen to this world? This world will be filled up with arrogant which is unpleasantly proud people who think that they are right most of the time. I can bare facing this kind of people all of the time. It makes me sick. People's mind will be contaminated with negative values and auras. This is very unpleasant to others.

These are my observations of people around me which I find very unpleasant:-

• disrespect others-talking and giggling while one person is speaking to the rest of the team
• eating chewing gum while presenting- is it the right manner when yuou are presenting? you think it is cool?? oh, Please...!
• laughing and talking as if there is no one else around you.You think you are the only person living on this Earth?

To be continued....I have grammar class in 3 minutes..........

MONDAY, February 1st 2010

It's the first day of February and it is the first day I woke up as early as 5am.
I got a little motivated today. Perhaps because i had had a long sleep on Saturday at home in a few parts of my house.
Why a few parts? Because I move around unconsciously when I sleep..

• in the car
• in the living room
• at the front porch
• at he dining table

I was sleeping as if no one was in the house. But, it's quite true.I can't deny that.

The only human being except me in the house was my brother.(5 cats of mine aren't included) He is 13. Ouh, how fast he has grown. I used to remember him as a rebellious standard 5 boy who always play with his bicycle with a bunch of friends.I quarrelled with him almost everytime I see him.He is such a hot-blooded person.

My parents went to Kuala Selangor to visit a sick aunt. She has breast cancer. her condition was quite bad before she went for therapy in HKL. But, from what mom told me, she is getting much better. She is a very strong person. When she was in HKL, most of our family members thought that she'll be leaving us in no time but, it seems that Allah wants to give her another chance. Praise to Allah....

Just now I had Literature, Writing, Drama replacement and Basic Principle of Education classes. I had no fun at all in those classes. I felt as if I want to run to the bus stop, take a 529 and go back to my room. I want to sleep. I have no idea why sometimes I feel that sleep is much much more important than these things. Urhhh...My mind is all about fatigue and food. Im running out of money. The allowance I got from the government almost finishes.

MOney..Money...Money..

I need to find my own income:-But how?? Because im still a student. Parents? Hurmm..Im not a child who likes to ask money from parents. I pity them. and I pity myself too. Nevermind. Let it be.(the beatles: i've always like this song). Ouh, I forgot. I still have my allowance from the shows.Hurmm, but still it is insufficient.. Thinking about money really makes me 'pening lalat'. So, i'd better put this to a halt for a while. I'll continue later...

LITerature class......

Today had a discussion about A Doll's House...I think. i mean, I personally think that the discussion was so boring and I was bored to almost death. There was a moment where I thought of puking. Im sorry Miss, but this is the truth to be told from the bottom of my heart. I didn't participate much because I haven't finish reading it(it's my own fault to find it not interesting). Somehow, I managed to finish reading ACT 3 before class started...Now, let me recall about what the play is about...

• I remembered that the characters are Nora, Torvald, Linde, Krogstad and Helene.( i think these are the major characters)
• In act 1, it is Christmas Eve and Nora has spent lots of money to buy gifts, clothes and food for the whole house except for herself.(she is a typical housewife and mother of the century). Torvald is at home and he hears of Nora's arrival(she sinngs happily, obviously). Torvald is not very happy with the fact that his wife is a spendthrift. He has a high position in a bank to be cliche. But, he loves her that he calls her with names like 'my song-bird', lark, squirrel(ohho, what a name to call a wife) and others(i don't remember).
• This is a little bit of the play in act 1..I skipped act 2 and straight away read act 3..

This is what i remember in Act 3...

• In act 3, Krogstad comes to the Helmer's house and meets Linde. It has something to do with the letter. Actually, Torvald wants to replace Krogstad's position with Linde. (By the way, in that era, it is incommon for woman to work. In the society,woman is only responsible to stay at home and take of her house, children and husband.) So, Krogstad who is the bad guy in the play wants to blackmail Nora to get his position back..arh, there's to many to explain here because the plot is quite complicated..
• How about I explain it later..maybe tomorrow....

This is going to be just a review of what I had today..

• literature class-discuss on A Doll's House=boring
• writing class-a mind map on Beyonce's arguement(my group supports),oh yeah also on assignment 3(very rare to have assgnment 3). Our lecturer seems to have affection towards the guys rather than the girls because she got too attached to them.. Normal.next week, we don't have class on monday. Instead, we have to work out on our assignment 3. Haven in a hell.=still alive
• Drama replacement class-watch on "the importance of being earnest" the movie.(algernon is so handsome;such a gentleman he is) I didn't get to be fully focused on it because I need to print out my reading journal. The timing is just not right...=a little regret(missed up a few parts)
• B.PiE-feels like running away because not prepared with presentation. Mr.Zieaf is funny as usual. Never get bored in his class only when he starts his 'story telling'..Well, at least I get to relax for a while..class ened early at 3.30pm..=ok lah

Now, i need to haste myself bacause it's already 1703.. I've Mawar meeting and dance practice tonight. assignments await and here, i am to answer the long wait..........kurukurukuru...harakiri!!!